So who knows I'm bisexual?

Besides all of you, that is. In order:

• Eddie. My oldest friend, dead from AIDS since 2002, dammit. We met in 1977, when I was 10 and he was 9. We all knew he was gay, even then, and I seemed to be the only who wasn't bothered by the idea. When we spent the night at each other's houses, experimentation was rampant, especially as I had a head start. We jerked each other off and tried blowing each other; we even tried anal, but didn't know about relaxation (though we did know about lube, to our credit). That all stopped towards the end of high school; he came out, and I went in. Actually, the only suggestion of bisexuality at the time was of the "hot bi chicks" porno variety, but certainly it didn't occur to me as a reasonable label until much later. Would have been handy, and not just with him in those days.
  
• R. A friend for almost 20 years, living in India for most of the last 12 or so. He stayed in my apartment for a week in 1998, and I went after him. We played in bed for a couple of nights, including him lubing me up to fuck his ass. Too much to drink that night, though, so I didn't finish. We didn't repeat that, but it made for a nice rest of the week sharing the bed. We never really talked about what my desires meant.
  
• M. An older friend, a southern gentleman and fashion designer. Stereotypically gay, yes. He's the first man I really talked with using the actual word "bisexual". To this day he's convinced that I'm really gay and stuck with a woman like he used to be. He says straight men are the best kissers, and I've done my best to prove him right. Misty and I socialize regularly with him and a particular group, most of whom are gay men. (One of the things that she found endearing about me was my comfort in kissing my gay men friends on the lips, so hooray!)
  
• Phil. You've met him, below. I think it came up when we talked about Marcy wanting to be tied up & blindfolded to be done by a stranger, and what fun we could have with that. At one point (before Misty and I moved in with them), it almost happened when Phil had gone to bed and Marcy was giving me a good-night kiss. I said we should surprise him, but she said he was cranky being awakened. I said I wanted to do him with her, but it wasn't to be for another 14 months or so.
  
• Belegon. Now my oldest friend; we had all the same classes all four years of high school. (He writes as "Belegon" at Literotica. We used to talk sex a lot, and he had flirted with bisexuality in high school. Still, for all the nights we did spend in bed together, nothing ever happened, as neither of us quite had the nerve (speaking for myself, at any rate). He and his young son spent a few days with Misty and me in 2003, and had lots of time to talk about my claiming of the bisexual label.
  
• C. A casual acquaintance from school of the androgynous-woman type I find attractive. She happened upon me one evening in a crowded pizza place, and I invited her to share my booth. We had spoken just a few times before that, and I decided to take a deep breath and tell her. She was skeptical; like so many gay people, she doesn't really believe in actual bisexuality. We didn’t belabor the issue, and when we went our separate ways after dinner, that was that. Haven't actually seen her since.
  
• Misty. I came out to her on Labor Day Saturday, 2004, in the same conversation where we first talked about polyamory. This gets its own post.
  
• D. & J. A gay male couple. Phil & Marcy and I had joined them for drinks later that same weekend, and let them know about my talk with Misty as we all sat around with gin & tonics on the porch. I told them about the poly discussion, too, for good measure (and partly because we all would have enjoyed a shot in bed with D. if not J. as well). They were skeptical about both the reality of my orientation and the potential ramifications of a poly relationship. But it was a good, if challenging, conversation. The best part, though, was going home with Phil & Marcy, where we got naked for the first time.
  
• V. A gay classmate in my current school program. He made a comment in passing, assuming that I was gay. I corrected him first, mentioning my marriage. Later that night, at a noisy group dinner, I asked him why he thought I was gay, explaining that I was actually bi. Pretty much ended the need to talk about it, and the conversation moved on.
  
• K., (of K. & C. fame). She was working on an LGBT project, and I realized that I had my chance to tell her as I'd wanted for ages. So I quizzed her a bit, drawing the analogy with "multicultural" generally equaling "biracial," rather than truly multicultural (whatever that's meant to mean). Similarly, the L&G are primary, with T somewhat more visible here than elsewhere in the country, and B pretty much ignored. She agreed, and I told her why I had brought it up. We had a great talk about it, with more to follow, I have no doubt. I don't know whether she's told. C. or not. I want her to know, but haven't yet managed to tell her.

So there it is. My own Dirty Dozen. More to come…