To cuckold, or not to cuckold?
Is it really cuckolding if you’re there?
The year before we married, Misty and I were separated due to a graduate program. I had a wonderful evening with A., a sexy classicist and poet (I’m such a sucker for smart women!), and we ended up at her place after drinks and dinner. She asked what it was like for a man to have a crush, and I chickened out, but just for the moment, because I had one. On her.
But I followed A. into the kitchen, waited for her to turn around, and said, “You know what it’s like for a man to have a crush? Like this.”
And I kissed her.
And she kissed me.
And then…we talked. She said she had no problems with seeing a married man; it was his business, not hers. (She mentioned one married guy she knew who just wanted her to fuck his ass with a dildo. A definite plus for my fantasy life ever since, I must say.)
At any rate, it was one of the most influential conversations in the journey of my developing relationship with Misty. A. asked two questions:
1. How would I feel if she slept with someone else?
2.Why was I getting married?
At that point, both questions stopped me cold. I had to admit I would have been uncomfortable if the shoe had been on the other foot and she had sought comfort in my absence. As to the second, I was simply a bit embarrassed to admit that I was marrying Misty in part because she took such great care of me. I had never lived as well as I did with her, and have freely admitted as much ever since.
It wasn’t until I could honestly answer these two questions that I felt comfortable considering the larger ramifications: Misty’s conception of herself as “Japanese wife” and its implications for my “just playing around,” or shared polyamorous relationships, or anything in between.
So now, returning to the first question, I’d be delighted to share Misty, if that would bring her pleasure. I’m secure that I wouldn’t be losing her, but would be gaining a richer part of our relationship. I know how hot Phil gets just watching me fuck Marcy, or even give her a good spanking, and I know what it does for their relationship aside from my presence. And there’s no way in that situation that I’d describe him as a cuckold.
To me, that term implies that there’s cheating going on, and that’s simply not what it’s about.
The year before we married, Misty and I were separated due to a graduate program. I had a wonderful evening with A., a sexy classicist and poet (I’m such a sucker for smart women!), and we ended up at her place after drinks and dinner. She asked what it was like for a man to have a crush, and I chickened out, but just for the moment, because I had one. On her.
But I followed A. into the kitchen, waited for her to turn around, and said, “You know what it’s like for a man to have a crush? Like this.”
And I kissed her.
And she kissed me.
And then…we talked. She said she had no problems with seeing a married man; it was his business, not hers. (She mentioned one married guy she knew who just wanted her to fuck his ass with a dildo. A definite plus for my fantasy life ever since, I must say.)
At any rate, it was one of the most influential conversations in the journey of my developing relationship with Misty. A. asked two questions:
1. How would I feel if she slept with someone else?
2.Why was I getting married?
At that point, both questions stopped me cold. I had to admit I would have been uncomfortable if the shoe had been on the other foot and she had sought comfort in my absence. As to the second, I was simply a bit embarrassed to admit that I was marrying Misty in part because she took such great care of me. I had never lived as well as I did with her, and have freely admitted as much ever since.
It wasn’t until I could honestly answer these two questions that I felt comfortable considering the larger ramifications: Misty’s conception of herself as “Japanese wife” and its implications for my “just playing around,” or shared polyamorous relationships, or anything in between.
So now, returning to the first question, I’d be delighted to share Misty, if that would bring her pleasure. I’m secure that I wouldn’t be losing her, but would be gaining a richer part of our relationship. I know how hot Phil gets just watching me fuck Marcy, or even give her a good spanking, and I know what it does for their relationship aside from my presence. And there’s no way in that situation that I’d describe him as a cuckold.
To me, that term implies that there’s cheating going on, and that’s simply not what it’s about.
posted by Adam at 2:44 PM
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