God: "Don't fuck with Israel, bitches!"

Your friend and mine, Pat Robertson, has the keen wisdom to know the mind of God, as we all know. Thanks, Pat, for warning us that if we're elected Prime Minister of Israel, we do the wrong thing. According to Crazy Rev. Pat, the stroke Ariel Sharon has suffered isn't a result of his weight, or his age; no, it's punishment dividing the land.

And that goes for you too, Venezuela!